How do I Become a Better Ally?
Nicole Asong Nfonoyim-Hara, narrative writer and the director of the Diversity Programs for the Mayo Clinic, defines the act of allyship as “when a person of privilege works in solidarity and partnership with a marginalized group of people to help take down the systems that challenge the groups basic rights, equal access, and ability to thrive in our society”. Being an ally extends far beyond the self-defined label; allyship is not an identity, but rather a lifelong process of building relationships based on trust, consistency and accountability with individuals belonging to marginalized groups, whether that’s based on race, gender, sexual orientation, disability, or other factors. Essentially, in order to be an ally we must be willing to undergo the practice of un-learning and re-evaluating, in which a person in a position of privilege seeks to operate in solidarity with marginalized people.
Being an effective ally involves genuine commitment and ongoing effort. It’s about taking action to support the rights and well-being of others, even when it doesn’t directly benefit you. Most importantly, being an ally is not about seeking recognition or praise; it’s about making a positive impact and fostering a more inclusive and equitable society!
Here are some suggestions of steps to take to become a better ally:
Educate yourself: Take the time to educate yourself about the experiences and issues faced by marginalized communities. Try reading books and articles or watching documentaries that provide insights into their struggles and history.
Listen and learn: Listen to the stories and experiences of individuals from marginalized groups without judgment or defensiveness. Actively seek out and engage in open and honest discussions with diverse voices and perspectives.
Acknowledge your privilege: Recognize your own inherent privilege and biases, and how these have provided you with advantages in life. Continuously examine your own biases and work to reduce them, as implicit bias can influence our actions, even if we are not consciously aware of them. Acknowledging privilege and bias is an essential step in becoming a better ally!
Be open to feedback: Be open to feedback from marginalized communities about your behaviour, actions, or microaggressions. If someone tells you that you made a mistake, listen, learn, apologize if necessary, and take this as constructive and helpful feedback. Accept responsibility for your mistakes and actions, and try to learn from them in order to do better in the future.
Don’t center yourself: When supporting a marginalized group, avoid making it about you. Focus on the needs and experiences of the group that you are trying to support.
Speak up and take action: Use your privilege and voice to speak up against discrimination, bias and injustices when you encounter them. Don’t remain silent in the face of inequality.
Use inclusive language: Be mindful of the language that you are using. Strive to use language that respects people’s gender identity, racial and ethnic background, and other aspects of their identity. If you mislabel someone, recognize that you made a mistake, apologize if necessary, and use this as a learning experience.
Support organizations and share resources: Contribute to or volunteer with organizations that support marginalized groups, such as non-profit organizations, advocacy groups, and charities. Share any educational resources and information that can help others become allies!
At Changing Tides we strive to be strong Ally’s and advocates for you and your family. To book a FREE telephone consultation to talk to one of our therapist, please use this link.
Check out these websites for some helpful resources:
References:
Dickenson, S. R. (2021). What is allyship? National Institutes of Health. https://www.edi.nih.gov/blog/communities/what-allyship
Plato, H. A. (2021). Allyship. THE ANTI-OPPRESSION NETWORK. https://theantioppressionnetwork.com/allyship/
OPSEU SEFPO. (n.d.). What does it mean to be an ally? Ontario Public Service Employees Union. https://opseu.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/what_does_it_mean_to_be_an_ally.pdf