How to Connect With Your Child
As we navigate through the back to school rush, it’s easy for us to forget about connecting with our children. We’ve got dinners and lunches to make, school supplies, clothing, extra-circulars like, music, sports, art classes, etc. On top of that we have any worries or anxieties that come with school, friendships, and then our lives as adults — work, relationships, money, things around the house … and the list goes on.
So, it’s easy to understand why adults forget about connecting … we’re busy!
And it’s not like being busy ever goes away, because these are just things we have to do as adults and parents. So, how do we find time to fit connection in??
The first thing to recognize is that connecting with your child is important – something that you NEED to make time for. Think of it in terms of love. We can’t just tell our kids we love them, we need to show them; put it into action. Think of it like an adult friendship that you have, your relationship with your child needs positive attention to thrive, without it, what might happen? Like your garden, your wardrobe, or your work, the things you give attention to flourish. Maybe attention is best thought of as being completely present in the moment with another person. Something that most parents want in relationships with their kids, but have a hard time finding the time.
Parenting takes enormous effort … like a lot!! But the emotional rewards make it feel well worth it, for both kids and parents alike. Parenting with a good relationship, a connected on, is like guiding that boulder downhill — you still have to pay attention and offer direction, and challenges certainly arise, but the momentum is with you, because your child feels support, connected and cared for. A good parent-child connection gets you through the hard times, and creates more frequent good times. It helps you to listen to, learn from, and meet the unique needs of your growing child. Plus, it makes it easier for you to influence your children and to be that shoulder they can lean on.
The good part (or the added bonus), your child gets something out of this connection as well. These connections form the foundation to children’s mental health. Through your connections your child will learn what it is to love another (and importantly to love themselves), to have his/her feelings validated and be able to build their emotional intelligence. Kids whose emotional needs are met express the traits and values we all want in our kids: consideration and respect for others, self-confidence, integrity, self-discipline.
Now, most parents today work full-time, out of the home. So, finding time to connect can be challenging. The good news: connecting with your kids doesn’t have to take hours. See below for a few ideas on some quick things you can do with your kids over the next couple of weeks to build your connection:
Read a book together
Give your child a hug
Tell a joke
Go outside together
Look through family photos
Say, “I appreciate you because …”
Tell a funny or cute story from when he/she was younger – or from when you were a child
Take turns writing in a journal to each other – you write, then leave it for your child to write in, and so on
Turn off all electronics and play – get on the floor, have your child lead and play, enjoy the 1-to-1 time, even if it’s only for 15 minutes
Play hide-and-seek
Cuddle
Eat meals together
Tickling
Dancing with each other
Cooking/Baking
There are many, many more things you can do with your children to build connection. These ideas are just a starting point!
Until next time,
Nichole
