Why is Talking About Money so Emotional?

Conversations about money and finances can be challenging for several reasons. Often rooted in societal norms, personal emotions, and cultural factors, discussing money often results in exchanges that are emotionally driven. Here are some examples as to why discussing money can often be quite difficult.

Taboo and Societal Norms: It is often considered impolite or inappropriate to disclose one’s financial situations, leading to discomfort when the topic arises. Many societies have ingrained “taboos” around discussing personal finances, where comparing your own financial situation to other’s can be a catalyst for negative-self talk. Our relationship with money is just as personal and valuable as any other relationship in our lives, therefore making it an emotional topic.

Privacy and Vulnerability: Finances and financial planning is deeply personal, and discussing these matters can perpetuate feelings of vulnerability. Often individuals worry about being judged based on their financial status, leading to hesitancy in sharing information. Since money is usually associated with success, status, and societal value, one may fear being judged if they reveal financial difficulties or disparities in their income.

Comparisons: Open discussions about money can lead to comparisons between individuals’ financial situations, potentially leading to envy, jealousy, or insecurity. Emotional attachments to our finances can complicate conversations about money.

Impact on Relationships: Money-related discussions can strain relationships, especially if there are differences in financial goals, spending habits, or attitudes towards saving and investing. Financial matters can lead to disagreements, particularly where resources are shared, or decisions need to made jointly. Sometimes, individuals avoid these conversations to prevent conflicts.

Despite these challenges, open communication about money is essential for our overall wellbeing. Financial stress can impact one’s mental health, and individuals often develop coping strategies which may avoid confronting financial problems or engaging in unhealthy behaviours. It’s important to remember that your feelings are not always correlated with your debt. A common mindset is that paying off your debt will make you happy; but once you do, there may be another challenge to face. This does not mean that your feelings are not valid – instead, it means that your emotions don’t always paint a full picture of your financial situation.

Our psychology around money is often rooted in our early understandings of it. Our mentality is shaped by our upbringing, media messages and the culture in which we are immersed, our lived experiences of earning and losing money, and our values regarding spending habits. It is important to understand where our financial beliefs come from in order to understand our values, fears, needs, and wants. Always remember that whatever emotions come up regarding having a discussion about finances are okay and valid! Talking about money can be scary, since oftentimes we don’t really understand it. Meet yourself with kindness, and aim to educate yourself in order to build a healthier relationship with your finances.

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https://hbr.org/2021/08/why-are-we-so-emotional-about-money