Sometimes Things Don’t Work Out
Sometimes things don’t work out, AND THAT’S OK!
I was at a vendor sale over the weekend, hoping to get my name out there a little and mingle with some Guelph locals.
Suffice to say, this show was a total bust :(.
Now, this was the first show I’ve attended as a vendor and I didn’t really know what to expect, but by hour two, it was clear this wasn’t what was supposed to be happening. Doing a show like this is anxiety provoking for me as it involves “putting myself out there”, something that’s outside of my comfort zone. So, already, my anxiety was pretty high. And then given the lack of attendance, I was a little upset. However, I was able to go home on Saturday afternoon with a positive mindset (“tomorrow will be better”) and spent the evening with some of my famjam, which always helps.
Sunday rolled around and my good friend Kristen Blow from Woodside Holistic Skin Therapies joined. I always love spending time with her, she’s a great friend (we’ve know each other since grade 4!) and a business owner and entrepreneur just like me! So,
we always have great conversation
Also, my 9 year old daughter, Makayla, spent the weekend with me. I saw it as bonding time and (if I’m being completely honest) a buffer for my anxiety about being alone. She was absolutely wonderful. She brought some of her own books and was successful in selling most of them. I’m very thankful to the other vendors who picked up some of her books.
So, back to day 2 … again, after an hour or two it became clear that this was also a bust. We packed up early and headed out around noon.
So, Sunday afternoon rolls around. Overall, it was a disappointing weekend. I spent money to be at this event and didn’t feel like it was successful. I was in a bad mood. I was angry, short-tempered, I didn’t wanna do anything. Negative thoughts started and I just felt kinda crappy and wanted to be alone. While these feelings and thoughts I was having are totally valid, I didn’t want them to ruin my evening. So, I started thinking … how can I allow myself the space to feel all that I was feeling about the weekend AND not let that mood get me down?
The first thing I did (and what I advise clients to do) was allow myself to feel crappy about my weekend. It didn’t work out how it was supposed to and I’m allowed to be upset by that. So, for me, this meant having some alone time in my room. I shut the door, turned off the lights and just talked to myself (not out loud … I did this silently to myself) and I actually had a nice little nap. I woke up to my partner cooking dinner and the kids watching TV/playing/doing arts and crafts. I got outta bed, threw on the laundry and joined them downstairs. And the thing I kept thinking to myself was that sometimes things don’t work out (my vendor show) and that’s OK! I had allowed those more negative thoughts and feels to sit with me and validate the realness of them and was able to move past them and enjoy time with my partner and the kiddos.
Here’s a simpler way to look at this:
Validate and sit with your feelings — your feelings are NEVER wrong and you are entitled to feel them and to have them. Name it — “I’m in a shitty mood because the weekend didn’t work out the way I hoped it had AND it’s ok to be disappointed about this” Give yourself, 10, 15, 30 minutes (whatever works for) to have this “sitting with” moment.
Move on! Go for a walk, start doing house work, or a project (arts, crafts, knitting, etc.). Do something that gets your mind/body moving.
SMILE. Did you know that when we smile the muscles in our face fire a signal back to the brain? This signal stimulates our reward system, and increases our “feel good” hormones and endorphins … SO … we can alter our brain’s emotional processing pathway to feel happier with a simple smile (https://www.britishcouncil.org/voices-magazine/famelab-whats-science-behind-smile).
And, if you’re still having trouble and find your “bad day” or that person in your life is causing a lot of negativity for you, give me a call and we’ll talk.
Cheers,
Nichole
